there I have said it. I admit it.

I just thing there is something wrong with him. I don’t know if he is too friendly or not friendly enough. Too business like or not business enough.

It took him over two months to tell us our kid was failing all but one subject. I think that is kind of important, don’t you? I would have liked to have been informed maybe the first week this had been going on. Then again, this is the first year I told my husband he needed to take part in the whole kid school thing. I have done it since I came on the scene three (now four) years ago.

When I moved in, my stepson was failing and was struggling to even like school. After a few months of us doing his homework together {and I use that phrase ever so lightly} he not only liked school, his teacher said he was a completely different kid. Which was enunciated by another teacher who also had been working with him on reading. They wanted to know whatever he had done keep doing it. The parent teacher conference ended without my husband ever saying one thing about all the work I had done. Ouch. Knowing it was good for my stepson I overlooked it. But it still hurt.

Over the next couple of years, I took a great interest in his school work. So many nights I would go over his homework with him while making dinner. My husband sat in the other room watching tv. When I would mention it, he said he needed to do his work by himself. Which I came to realize meant my husband didn’t want to have to sit in the kitchen and help him at the table. For him, I guess it wasn’t important. Who knows what the reason was? There were times my husband would help with reading out loud. In fact, I would say my husband probably got him over his being scared to mess up reading aloud. One night my husband decided to read the book out loud by sounding out each and every word. It was torture and incredibly funny. The fact is both my stepson and I realized the world would not end if he messed up on a word. Worked like a charm.

So this year, we knew he was having a little trouble talking in class. Not unusual for this kid. We went to curriculum night. The teacher said that he was doing well, we had curbed the talking. It was getting better. Awesome, right? NO!! About two weeks later we get his progress report. All F!!! Except one in PE. Funny that was always the one he was struggling with because he couldn’t focus enough to not get in trouble. I was shocked and apparently so was my husband. I was equally pissed that the teacher let it go this long.

I would have stomped into his office and asked, “What the hell was he thinking waiting this long?” None of his papers in his backpack had bad grades on them. My husband said he would deal with it. Which I had to let go because he had been “handling it” thus far

When my husband got back from the teacher conference he said, “Apparently he won’t do any work in class. He talks to all the people around him. He doesn’t do tests or busy work. He just hasn’t completed much of any work thus far.” Not to mention we were receiving all the papers that were being sent home. Woops. Apparently, my stepson had taken it upon himself to decide which papers to bring home and which to throw away. But kids will be kids.

The teacher refused to send home progress reports everyday. He said fourth grade is for becoming organized not behavior issues. Yes, I hear what you are saying, but should I just move my kid back to third grade because he has behavior problems? Or do you think this teacher could spend two minutes everyday writing us a brief note on “He had a good day” or “He had a tough day”. Something, anything, but his teacher just didn’t have the time.

Uhm, hello it is October. School has been in session since mid August. What the hell has this teacher been waiting for?

So my husband grounded my stepson from everything until his grades got up and he started bringing home his homework everyday along with his planner {homework schedule}. The first week was hell. He was spending all night working on homework and not getting anything done. I would come home and he would be sitting at the dinner table in tears, still working on the same thing he had started over 2 hours ago. My husband was always somewhere else. He kept saying, “He just needs to do his work.” I didn’t want to get in the middle of it. It sucked. I could feel my stepson’s pain and frustration. And my husband, I felt, was being cruel and not understanding what needed to be done.

Clearly, my stepson just needed a little support. There were many nights in the past I would sit in the same room reading, just to let him know I was there for him and he wasn’t working all alone. After a week or so of this, I caved. I got home one day and had had enough. I sat my stuff down and tried to talk him through what was going on. I figured out he could not do any of his work. He simply did not know how to do it. How was this possible? How could my stepson be two months plus into school and not know anything?

Let me take a moment to tell you this is seriously one of the brightest kids I have ever encountered. He is so smart; sometimes smarter than me. He can do anything. And I am not just saying that because he is my stepson. I have heard him say things I don’t think adults could figure out. He is that smart. He just has to want to. That is his downfall. And I fear it always will be.

So we started from the beginning. again. I started walking him through his work. As much as I could without reteaching him stuff I felt he should already know. This can be hard because I didn’t want to change the way he had already been taught things. I think that always complicates things more.

All the while my husband would walk through the kitchen and not say anything. He wasn’t happy or upset. He just didn’t say anything.

I used as many ideas as I could think of. He had forgotten how much fun school is. He had forgotten how good he was at doing this stuff. I got out the timer and timed him on doing math because that way it was a game. I would never give him the answer but rather walk him through the thought process. I kept telling him to take deep breaths and that I believed in him.

It was so painful.

After a week I asked my husband to sit down and help him with it. I couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t. He said the same thing, “He just needs to do his work.”
One day, I was scrapbooking at the table and my niece was over. We were all working. My stepson was struggling with a problem and out of nowhere my husband came in and sat down and for the next three hours worked with him on his homework. I was awed and happy all at the same time. I knew if I said anything it would break the moment. So I let it pass.

Over the last three weeks we have got my stepson out of a serious depression. When he got grounded and all of his “work” was revealed. He had dug himself a hole so big, he had some serious work to do to get out. He was so upset at times I couldn’t bear it. And at others he was the stepson I know and love.

I know that my husband has his own ways. That is why I love him. It is just funny how life plays out. How we work together, but in our own ways. Being patient and waiting for things to fall together is as good as putting a foot forward and helping things along.

He is back where he should be in his studies and homework is once again a quick and {mostly} painless time. It isn’t over. Not by far. My stepson has a long haul ahead of him. School lasts about 12 years of your life. He is only in fourth grade.

I know I will be dragging his teenage body out of bed to go to highschool and I will be doing what I can do get him to do his work, but in all honestly, it will be up to him. I hope he will realize one day how gifted he is and what a blessing it is to have a gift like that. I never had that gift. I always had to work harder than my friends. I wasn’t the one would read something and it was in my head forever. I had to study for hours to get good grades. So many kids don’t have that. He does.

If he could only choose to use his power for good. LOL

And as for his teacher, well, I would have changed his teacher already, but it is up to my husband and I am learning to let go.