My stepson and I have come to battle regarding what is really considered a lie.
Technically . . .
if you didn’t speak it – it isn’t a lie
if you didn’t really know what it meant – it isn’t a lie
don’t tell the whole truth – you aren’t really lying
and if all else fails just lie some more; dad will never know.
That is where we are at right now. Dad thinks son is telling the truth and doesn’t {didn’t} really know he was lying. But he wasn’t there. I was. I know my stepson’s face when he is lying. He also says he didn’t know at the time it was a lie, but now he does. Uh, huh. That makes total sense.
I don’t know why I don’t believe him.
Am I just evil?
Am I just trying to get him in trouble? not that he would get punished
Am I trying to make a point?
Could it be that he is 9 years old and can tell the difference between right and wrong; the truth and a lie?
I just know he was lying. His face. His tone. The way he plays the helpless, frustrated son. The way he won’t answer, “Were you lying, yes or no?” All of these are tail-tail signs. To me.
Not to his father.
And that is the only one that counts.
He is doing it more often. It is getting worse.
I need to let it go because what I say and how I feel mean nothing. Only what my husband says mean anything.
So why does it bother me?
I live here too. I have to live with a liar. I don’t want to be a part of raising a liar.
It just doesn’t have to be that way.




1 comment
Comments feed for this article
November 2, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Jacque
Hi: Your post “So Tired of Fighting” just broke my heart. I am a stepmom, stepdaughter and soon-to-be bio mom. I don’t know if it would help, but I have interviewed stepmoms all over the world and I would love to send you a free copy of my book A Career Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Stepmom. I wrote the book because I needed to hear the wisdom of stepmoms who’d been there done that. It’s fantastic that you’re in counseling already. If you’re looking for more resources there is a whole list of them on my website: http://www.becomingastepmom.com. Elizabeth Einstein, for instance, has done some really cool DVDs for stepfamilies that dads really respond to in situations like yours. She’s at http://www.stepfamilyliving.com. I also love your writing and if you’d ever like to contribute an essay to my monthly newsletter, I’d be honored. You can find archives of it on the home page of my website. Thank you for putting yourself out there and being so honest and brave. You’re helping your sister smoms!