Every year my stepson visits his biomom about 3 times a year – 5 weeks during the summer, 1 week during Thanksgiving and 1 week around the New Year. This year we have yet to receive the call that she is sending him up to visit her. And though it is not unusual for her to rarely call, this is not right. It is less than a week before he should be going to her house and we haven’t heard a thing.
About 6 months ago, my stepson’s biomom had her 2nd kid with her new husband. The last couple of visits were very hard for my stepson because she has less time for him than before and apparently much less love too. Ever since she had her son she has been calling asking for us to reduce the child support payments. Which I find absurd because she hasn’t paid us more than a few payments in five years anyhow. I told my husband that as soon as she starts paying the child support we should consider reducing it. But my husband doesn’t like to push the issue. So by not doing anything, she got what she wanted. Not only are they reduced payments, they are non-existent.
Finally, this year, my husband put his foot down (a little) and asked her to pay for the complete trips to and from her house, since she isn’t paying child support. Normally we split the costs. Apparently, she can’t afford to pay for her son to fly out to see her either because she has yet to call with arrangements for him to come for after Christmas. ARG!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER???? Seriously, how can you just do that to your own flesh and blood? He is only 9 years old for pitys sake. Not that age has anything to do with it. It’s just horrible. When my stepson goes to visit his biomom I want to call him everyday. I really couldn’t imagine going months without talking to him or seeing him.
On the bright side, it will be REALLY nice to spend the entire holiday with my stepson. Normally Christmas comes and the next day he is off to her house. Kind of shortens the holiday for me.
But I ache for my stepson. How it must hurt. I can’t even imagine.
6 comments
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December 21, 2007 at 1:22 pm
clevergrl
That must be really confusing for your stepson. Is he in therapy at all? Might be a good idea to start, if he isn’t.
January 1, 2008 at 12:05 am
Squirrel
Dear God do I EVER know how you feel. Come visit my blog sometime and you’ll feel much better about your situation. LOL Hope things have gotten better since you posted this post. I’m going now to your home page.
January 2, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I Hate Barbies
Has it ever occurred to you that you may just be a hateful, jealous bitch like most stepmoms?
January 2, 2008 at 9:29 pm
clevergrl
WTF kind of comment is that? I would consider biomoms more likely to be hateful and jealous…but I would never generalize like that and expect “most” biomoms to be like that.
January 4, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Heidi
Dear I Hate Barbies – How should I answer that? NO? Yeah, that would be how I would answer that. No. Because either you were serious and WOW was that comment ever rude OR you were being sarcastic and I like sarcasm. Who knows? Honestly, it doesn’t matter either way. I don’t take offense, but I LOVE clevergirl for watching my back. Thanks girl!!
Actually, now that I think about it, sometimes I am jealous of her. I am jealous that I can’t look at this 9 year old boy and then WALK AWAY without ever thinking of him again. That would be a huge stress reliever in my life – not to worry about his school, his happiness, his clothes, his eating, etc. I am also jealous that I can’t agree to commitments like paying child support or calling my son and then completely FORGET or IGNORE that they ever happened. I couldn’t turn my back on my family, no matter what the situation.
September 10, 2009 at 1:21 pm
sandrar
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.