Comments on: frustration overload http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/frustration-overload/ Becoming a monster one stepson at a time Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:53:47 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Kudzu http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/frustration-overload/#comment-203 Kudzu Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:18:43 +0000 http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/?p=72#comment-203 I can comisserate with you. My husband has no clue what the kids need or require. I swear he's in a twilight zone. BM is a total loon. I stress out constantly over the entire situation. To the point that I've been considering divorce because I'm spending my life stressed out over SOMEONE ELSE'S three children that they themselves do not seem to care about. But then I wonder what would happen to them if I left. I can comisserate with you. My husband has no clue what the kids need or require. I swear he’s in a twilight zone. BM is a total loon. I stress out constantly over the entire situation. To the point that I’ve been considering divorce because I’m spending my life stressed out over SOMEONE ELSE’S three children that they themselves do not seem to care about. But then I wonder what would happen to them if I left.

]]> By: Shannon http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/frustration-overload/#comment-202 Shannon Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:31:36 +0000 http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/?p=72#comment-202 I am in such a similar place with my husband and 11 year old stepdaughter... except we have 2 boys of our own (4 & 3 months). BM doesn't care AT ALL, BD (my husband) doesn't like to be the bad guy-so I am the evil stepmom. I am in such a similar place with my husband and 11 year old stepdaughter… except we have 2 boys of our own (4 & 3 months). BM doesn’t care AT ALL, BD (my husband) doesn’t like to be the bad guy-so I am the evil stepmom.

]]> By: Heidi http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/frustration-overload/#comment-156 Heidi Fri, 08 Feb 2008 06:04:22 +0000 http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/?p=72#comment-156 Thank you for your comment. I will look Rosemonds up. I picture what it will be like when he is a teenager, with drugs, peer pressure and so much more responsibility and then I picture living with him and maybe raising our children too. And I shudder. I don't feel he has giving up. But maybe, i don't know. I think hubby either doesn't want to give up his own time (sacrifice) and/or he just doesn't want to be the heavy. When his ex-wife split, she was letting the kid sleep in her bed and she gave him whatever. He then became the bad guy. And from them on out he changed - or so I hear. I am pretty black and white, he is all grey area. So it is hard for me to adopt his way, but I have compromised so many times, I am wondering when he will step up and start being responsible. It sucks, but being a parent means sacrifice. I just wonder if he will ever step up or if this is really how he is. And knowing that it may be just who he is, I know that I cannot live with him. I need more. I just go back and forth. How much am I willing to give up to be with my husband? Thank you for your comment. I will look Rosemonds up. I picture what it will be like when he is a teenager, with drugs, peer pressure and so much more responsibility and then I picture living with him and maybe raising our children too. And I shudder.

I don’t feel he has giving up. But maybe, i don’t know. I think hubby either doesn’t want to give up his own time (sacrifice) and/or he just doesn’t want to be the heavy. When his ex-wife split, she was letting the kid sleep in her bed and she gave him whatever. He then became the bad guy. And from them on out he changed – or so I hear. I am pretty black and white, he is all grey area. So it is hard for me to adopt his way, but I have compromised so many times, I am wondering when he will step up and start being responsible. It sucks, but being a parent means sacrifice. I just wonder if he will ever step up or if this is really how he is. And knowing that it may be just who he is, I know that I cannot live with him. I need more.

I just go back and forth. How much am I willing to give up to be with my husband?

]]> By: jp http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/frustration-overload/#comment-154 jp Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:49:25 +0000 http://stepmomster.wordpress.com/?p=72#comment-154 I think you should read John Rosemonds work. His approach to parenting is common sense, no frills and I wish I had known about him when I married and took on 2 stepkids. But, you will not get real far if your husband is not cooperating but you can certainly address the respect issues with the stepson since sometimes his advice is for the relative who might have a child temporarily. I hate where you are, for you. I've been in that boat for the last several years with my own wife. She certainly cares for her kids, she clothes them, feeds them, gets them to the doctor but she drops the ball on common sense parenting when it comes to discipline, which makes me look foolish. She has no backbone for the tough things regarding her troubled teenage kids... and they have plenty of trouble. There is no sliver bullet. Your son sounds like a carbon copy of my ADD riddled stepson. I became his stepfather when he was in 2nd grade and I was there for many homework sessions after his mom had given up.... she lost patience. I 'feel your pain' in that arena! I think you should read John Rosemonds work. His approach to parenting is common sense, no frills and I wish I had known about him when I married and took on 2 stepkids. But, you will not get real far if your husband is not cooperating but you can certainly address the respect issues with the stepson since sometimes his advice is for the relative who might have a child temporarily. I hate where you are, for you. I’ve been in that boat for the last several years with my own wife. She certainly cares for her kids, she clothes them, feeds them, gets them to the doctor but she drops the ball on common sense parenting when it comes to discipline, which makes me look foolish. She has no backbone for the tough things regarding her troubled teenage kids… and they have plenty of trouble.

There is no sliver bullet. Your son sounds like a carbon copy of my ADD riddled stepson. I became his stepfather when he was in 2nd grade and I was there for many homework sessions after his mom had given up…. she lost patience. I ‘feel your pain’ in that arena!

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